Up In The Air
by evieeden
Summary: On the way home from Volterra, Bella and Edward have a discussion about their future in the one place where they can't escape from one another. Birthday fic written for tiffanyanne3.


**This was written as a birthday fic for the lovely tiffanyanne3, who's one of my oldest fandom friends and I flove her. Happy belated birthday sweetie.**

**I don't own Twilight, more's the pity. Thanks to the lovely LovelyBrutal who beta'd this fic for me.**

**Up In The Air**

**BPOV**

I needed to stay awake.

I didn't know why, Edward had made no move to push me away from him, but as long as I stayed awake, as long as I clung to him tightly, then I could be assured that he wouldn't leave me.

Being separated in the airport bathrooms had been traumatic. I knew that both of us needed to freshen up and change into the new, clean clothes that Alice had procured for us, but I didn't want to be apart from him.

What if he changed his mind about coming back to the States with us? What if he decided I really wasn't worth the trouble of trying to placate? What if the Volturi changed their minds and came after us here in Florence and tore him to pieces?

I shuddered at the last thought, the shaking that had eased somewhat upon our departure from Volterra now making its unwelcome return, wracking through my body and earning me unwanted attention from the other women in the restroom. Luckily, Alice had taken charge, reassuring me with soft words as she quickly and efficiently helped me to change, standing near me defensively as I washed my face of the remnants of my tears and brushed my teeth.

Edward moved faster than me, something I was grateful for when I opened the door to the restroom to find him waiting for me outside. The tightness in my chest had loosened up as I flung myself into his arms. From that point onwards I refused to let go of him, even nearly protesting when we were forced to separate for a few seconds to go through security.

Throughout the rest of the time, I kept a tight grip on his shirt, as he half-carried me around the airport and onto the plane. I couldn't keep my eyes off him.

He was still as beautiful as he ever had been, but I couldn't focus on that. Instead, my attention was drawn by the expression in his eyes. If I looked closely enough, I could almost believe that he still loved me, still cared about me, and instead of pushing the idea out of my head, I allowed myself to sink into the fantasy. I was sure that by the time we got back to Forks the illusion would be shattered and I would be left alone again, but for now, I pushed reality aside.

Tiredness began to creep over me on the flight from Florence to Rome and I asked the hostess who was fussing over Edward for a coffee to help me stay awake. I knew that the second I let myself fall asleep I would have nightmares – I would be flung back into that awful hall, the blood of those innocent tourists running onto the stone floor in front of me, and the awful groaning sound of vampire flesh being torn apart as Edward was ripped to pieces in front of me.

No. Better to stay awake where I could watch over Edward to make sure nothing happened to him...and to make sure that he didn't leave again without my knowing.

I continued with my caffeine binge once we got to our stopover in Rome, and ordered another coffee the second we got onto the flight to Atlanta. I had to make myself stay awake.

"Bella," Edward warned, "you won't be able to sleep if you keep drinking that."

"I know. But if I go to sleep I'll just end up having nightmares."

Edward nodded in understanding and placed a kiss on the top of my head. "I'm so sorry you had to see that, Bella."

He didn't get it though. He thought that if I had nightmares they would be about the Volturi, and while I had to admit that they were scary, my nightmares would more likely be about that other time, when he was gone and everything was dark in my life. He would only feel guilty if I told him about that though, so I kept my mouth shut and let him have his mistaken beliefs.

I just wanted all of the past and the future to melt away. Edward was here with me, now, in the present, and I wanted to focus on that, to just keep him within my sight and revel uninterrupted in his presence.

The air hostess was definitely making that difficult though.

I appreciated that Edward, Alice and I were the only passengers sitting in first class, but the amount of attention she was bestowing upon my... I didn't know what to call him, but it was all just too much. Edward clearly agreed, and after she brought me my latest coffee, he easily dismissed her, stating that we were all tired and wanted to get some sleep.

I was glad that she was gone, but not so glad when he turned off the overhead lights to back up his story. It was now even harder to stay awake and I glared at him, knowing that he could see me in the dark.

"I know you don't want to sleep," he whispered into my ear, "but you at least need to rest. You've had a very stressful trip."

I shivered at the feel of his cool breath dancing across my skin.

"I don't need to rest," I argued. "I'm fine."

Edward's mouth tightened, but he didn't say anything else, just raised the seat arm between us and pulled me closer to him, his arms tightening snugly around me. I sighed at the feel of being so close to him; if I concentrated hard enough I could almost imagine that we were back in my room, Edward holding me close as I slept, not a care in the world.

The airplane shuddered as it hit a patch of turbulence and it jarred me out of my memory and back to reality.

I couldn't pretend, couldn't shrug the past few months and the pain of abandonment away. I gasped as the memory of my loneliness stole my breath away.

"Bella?" Edward's voice sounded like it was coming from very far away. "Bella, what's wrong?" He shook me lightly.

I jumped up, brushing his hands aside. He stared up at me, bewildered, and I looked away, not wanting to see if the look in his eyes had changed. I didn't think I could bear to see the same worried concern that had haunted the face of everyone around me for the last seven months; I needed to get away.

"I have to go to the bathroom."

I fled to the cramped cubicle, glad that everyone was asleep. The hostesses were gossiping at the back of the plane, so no-one saw my panicked escape. Locking the door behind me, I leaned heavily on the basin, breathing raggedly as I struggled to get air into my lungs. The cracks in my heart that had vanished the second Edward had held me in his arms again were beginning to reappear now that I was away from him.

Turning on the tap with a sharp twist of the wrist, I splashed some water on my face, hoping to shock myself out of my melancholy. The ache in my chest was growing by the second and I fought against myself to stop my arms rising up to wrap around my body.

I didn't want to go back to this, didn't want to fall apart again.

I had known that seeing Edward would be a shock to my system. I had known that it would be difficult to watch him walk away as soon as we had got the whole business of my cliff-jumping episode out the way. What I hadn't realised was that seeing him again would feel so right, would be so easy. I saw him and held him again and it was like nothing had ever happened. All of the hurt and pain and longing just fell away. What concerned me was that now that he was with me, I didn't think I could take him leaving again, not physically or mentally.

Back in September, I had barely managed to hold myself together; in the beginning I had only bothered trying for Charlie's sake, and later on my friendship with Jacob had helped.

This time though, I knew that I would be a lost cause. Being apart, even for a few minutes, was crumbling my soul to pieces. For him to abandon me again would break me for the last time; there would be no coming back from that.

I was jolted out of my reverie by a soft knock on the door of the bathroom. Expecting it to be another passenger wanting to use the facilities, I was surprised when I then heard Edward's voice ring out from the other side of the door.

"Bella? Bella, are you alright? Bella?"

A tingle shot down my spine and my heart rate shot up at the sound of his voice, as if my body could tell that he was close.

"Bella?" This time he sounded even more frantic.

My hand was shaking as I reached out to unlock the door. The second he heard a click, Edward was through the door, shutting it behind him. He seemed to loom over me in the confining space, his chest pressing against mine as he reached behind me to turn the faucet off.

"Bella? Love? What's wrong?"

I couldn't think, not with him so close to me. His hands came up to cup my face, making me focus on him.

"What's the matter, love?"

I hated the apprehension that furrowed his brow as he stared down at me, so I did what I always did nowadays when someone gave me that particular look. I lied.

"I'm fine. Really. I just needed to use the bathroom."

His frown grew deeper. "Bella, you've been in here for over twenty minutes and you haven't used the facilities. I can hear you whimpering from our seats. Please," he ducked his head to kiss my forehead and wrapped me tighter in his arms, "just tell me what I can do to make this better?"

My eyes closed in relief at the feeling of him holding me, and even though we were in a bathroom on a plane, I wouldn't have wanted to be anywhere else than in Edward's arms right now.

The panic that had been slowly welling up inside was completely gone and I wondered how I could possibly explain what had happened to Edward. I didn't want him to feel guilty, I didn't want him to think that I couldn't cope unless he was with me, I didn't want to trap him into saying or doing something that he didn't mean or want just to make me feel better.

"I'm fine, Edward. Really. I guess... I guess I was just daydreaming and didn't realise how long I'd spent in here. I suppose I'm lucky that it's a red eye flight, otherwise people would be banging the door down."

I felt him sigh and I buried my face further into his shirt, not wanting him to be able to read the lie in my words.

"Oh, Bella."

He began to mutter quietly to himself, I could hear the slight breaths that indicated his speech even though he was talking too low for me to hear.

He sighed again, seemingly coming to a conclusion, as he gently grasped my arms and held me away from him. Due to the space there were only a couple of inches between us, but I felt them keenly.

"Bella," he started, and then paused. "Bella, I need you to look at me."

Here it was. My last hope vanishing into smoke as he pleaded with me to meet his eyes. This was the moment I had been dreading, the moment when he reaffirmed everything I had heard last September. I waited, my eyes clenched tightly shut, as I waited for him to tell me that everything he had said then still stood now, that I was just a distraction, that he would be leaving me again once I was dropped back off in Forks.

He huffed, frustrated. "You know this would be so much easier if I could just tell what you were thinking. I wouldn't have to guess then."

"You wouldn't want to know what I was thinking," I replied dully, knowing that if he was to see into my mind, all that he would find there would be a black pit of loneliness and despair. This was why I needed to keep my true thoughts hidden; knowing them would only lead to pain and guilt on his part.

"I really really would," he mused. "Maybe then I would know what to do."

There he was again – making sacrifices on my behalf that he didn't want to.

"You don't have to do anything." As if to convince him, I took a couple of deep breaths and squared my shoulders, pulling back minutely out of his embrace and opening my eyes. "I'm fine, really." I tried to smile to show him that I would be alright, but I could only manage a grimace.

"Bella..." He drew out my name and I knew if I stayed touching him there would be no hope. I would be spilling out my pain and love to him with abandon and I couldn't let him see my weakness.

I backed away as far as I could, which wasn't very far in this cubicle, and crossed my arms over my chest defensively. "I don't know what you expect me to say, Edward. I'm fine. You're worrying over nothing.

Edward shook his head, but didn't say anything. Instead, he mimicked my pose, leaning back against the locked door. He stared at me, as if he could see into my soul if only he looked for long enough, and I fought myself to meet his gaze.

We were at a deadlock, neither of us willing to give in, and I wondered what it was exactly that he expected from me.

I didn't realise that I had spoken out loud until his melodic voice interrupted my thoughts.

"I don't expect anything from you, Bella. I just want you to be happy." His tone turned pleading. "Please, tell me what I can do to make you happy." One hand came up to reach out to me, before he thought better of it and lowered his arm awkwardly.

It was going to have to come out at some point; I had just wanted to wait, to keep him with me for as long as possible before he remembered that I was just a distraction and that he was better off without me. But he looked so earnest, so heartbroken, that I found myself answering his question.

"I want you to stay with me. I want you to never leave me again. I want you..." I choked on the next words, my pride completely dissolved, "...to still love me." I whispered the last. "I want to be whole again."

My bravery only lasted for a few seconds and then my eyes dropped to the floor again, avoiding the look of pity I was sure he was wearing.

Edward didn't say anything and the silence grew between us, the air heavy with the weight of expectation. I finally chanced a look up and was taken aback by the look or sheer torment on his face. His eyes were bright, and I think that if he could have cried, he would have.

"Bella," he croaked.

I couldn't stand seeing him in distress. My hand came up to cup his cold cheek in the vague hope that it would comfort him.

"Bella..." He reached out and pulled me to him wrapping his arms tightly around me, burying his face in my hair as he clung to me. I clutched at the fabric of his shirt.

"Bella," he repeated. He didn't seem to need a reply so I stayed silent, just breathing in the cool, crisp scent of him.

I could feel his chest rising and falling beneath my hands as he took deep shuddering breaths. I could only think that he was trying to compose himself given that he didn't need the oxygen.

He whispered my name again, his voice cracking on the end, and he kissed me on the crown of my head as his arms hugged me to him even tighter. After a minute, he drew back, his hands sliding up my neck to cup my cheeks, raising my face so I was forced to meet his eyes. I could feel the bite of my nails against my palm, even through the fabric of his shirt, as my fisted hands clung to him for dear life.

I tried to stare blankly at him, tried not to give away my true feelings; I didn't want Edward to feel like he had to say what I wanted to hear just so I wouldn't continue to freak out on this flight. His brow was furrowed as he studied my face.

"Bella... if you'll have me... I have no intention of leaving ever again. If you still want me... then I'm here to stay."

I heard the words, but I couldn't comprehend them. My mouth opened to speak, but nothing came out. It was everything I wanted him to say to me, but now that he was saying it, I just couldn't believe it.

Edward was still waiting for my reply to his impassioned words.

"I don't understand." It was the best I could manage.

"Bella, I love you," he vowed. "I never stopped. And I never want to leave you again. I can't stand being apart from you anymore...it was killing me."

I continue to look at him, closing my mouth with an audible click when I realised that it was still hanging open. This was what I had dreamed of, what I had longed for, and now that it was really happening I didn't know what to do.

"But you don't love me," I blurted out and then clapped a hand over my mouth to stop myself from further confirming Edward's true feelings for me.

Edward gently removed my hand from across my mouth, brushing over my lower lip with his thumb as he did.

"I lied, Bella. I had to lie; I knew you'd never let me go any other way."

My brain couldn't compute what he was saying, couldn't formulate the words that I was hearing coherently. From what he was telling me, he hadn't wanted to leave, he had still loved me...so why had he abandoned me like he did?

"You left me. You said you didn't want me anymore. You said you didn't want me to come with you."

I started to cry, hot tears scalding my cheeks as they ran down my face. I brushed them away impatiently, trying to remain composed enough to hear Edward's reply. I could melt down completely once he had left again.

"I thought..." Edward stumbled over his words and now, more than ever before, I saw his vulnerability, his weakness. It made him more human. "I thought I was doing the right thing. I thought...if Jasper could attack you so easily over a paper cut, then what happens the next time – if you cut yourself or fall and graze your knee. Who would attack you next and would I be able to stop them? Would I be able to stop myself?"

"Edward," I breathed out his name, my feelings torn. I had dismissed the risk to myself, telling him that I wanted to become like him, that I wanted to die. I had told him that it didn't bother me.

I should have noticed that it bothered him...deeply. I should have known that it would kill him to kill me.

Edward continued to speak. "So I decided that it was best that I left, that we all left, so you wouldn't be in danger from us anymore." He shook his head. "I should have known that it would find you with or without us there."

"How...?" I began, before realising he must have picked out my recollections of the last few months from Alice's head. I shook my head and he took it as permission to carry on with his explanation.

"We all packed up and left pretty quickly after your birthday; it was just me left to say my goodbyes. You just wouldn't let me go though." His eyes darkened and he looked like he was relieving that moment in the woods all over again. "So I had to lie, and I had to tell you that I didn't want you to come with me, and I had to tell you that I didn't love you anymore, because otherwise you would never have given up until I caved and decided to stay after all. I lied and you believed me so quickly and so easily... it was like you had never thought I really loved you in the first place."

I bowed my head, recognising the truth of his words but not wanting him to see the confirmation on my face.

He was right. I had believed him, because I still didn't understand how someone like him could have ever fallen in love with someone like me. I had heard his words of love and seen his signs of devotion but never really accepted that they were true. Instead, I had clung to my own feelings for him and prayed that they would be enough for the both of us.

"I..."

I didn't know what to say, didn't know how to react.

Edward's fingers brushed over my cheeks before his hands fell to his sides.

"I understand if you don't feel the same way about me anymore – it's understandable given everything that's happened. I want you to know though, that whatever I may have said, I love you and I'll always love you. I was coming back to you before Rosalie called; I couldn't stay away any longer. I tried to fight it, but I needed to be with you."

I didn't even care that my mouth was now hanging open in shock as Edward proclaimed his love for me. I just couldn't believe it. It was everything I'd hoped for, everything I'd prayed for during these long months, and it was really happening.

Edward continued to talk. "And then when I got the call and thought that you were dead..." He swallowed hard, the tormented look back on his face. "Please say you forgive me, Bella? Please say there's still a chance?"

I struggled to talk, my mind still in shock at his professions.

He had lied to me, pretended he didn't care, made me believe that he didn't love me anymore, and then left me.

Could I forgive him?

I thought back to the past five months and the emptiness, the hole in my heart that resided within me while he was gone. I remembered how I had sleepwalked through my life, going through the motions just to please everyone around me. Even Jake had never seen the true depths of my despair and he had been there for me throughout it all.

And I remembered the joy I felt, the sheer rightness that had infused my being when I had crashed into his body under the clock tower in Volterra. As I had thrown my arms around him, the piece of me that had been missing ever since he had left had slotted back in place as if it had never been gone.

The second part of that memory struck me then. Edward had returned my embrace wholeheartedly, his hands sliding around my waist, his face buried in my hair as he ran his nose up the length of my neck, inhaling my scent greedily. He had muttered something about Carlisle being right – that he had died and he really had gone to heaven.

Edward thought that being with me was heaven.

I said the only words I could at that moment.

"Kiss me."

Hope lit up in Edward's eyes as he closed the distance between us once more. My eyes fluttered shut as his body pressed against mine, the backs of his fingers brushing gently along my cheeks. I felt him lean over me, his cool breath sending shivers of familiarity and contentment up my spine.

And then his lips were on mine, our mouths parting and caressing each other. He pulled back minutely and gave a shuddering breath, acclimatising himself as he had upon sharing our first kiss that day when we visited the meadow. This time I was prepared to be so cautious though.

My mouth followed his, my lips pressing insistently until his parted, allowing me to suck his bottom lip between mine. My hands ran over his perfect chest, tracing the outlines of his body beneath his shirt. We kissed slowly, languorously, and I couldn't help my hands which crept up his body, one locking round his neck, holding him to me, unwilling to let him escape, and the other cupping his cheek, the strain of his jaw evident beneath my fingers as he fought for control.

As usual between us, it was my restraint that broke first.

I pushed my body closer to his, trapping him against the locked door as my kisses became more insistent. Every part of me screamed to get closer to him, to entrap him so that he would never leave me alone again.

Edward's hands fluttered lightly down the sides of my body, as if he wasn't quite sure where to put them, before tentatively coming to rest on my hips. It wasn't enough.

My own hands covered his, pushing down harder. I wanted to feel his touch, to truly know that he was there, and as his fingers gripped me tighter, I welcomed the ache of his grasp.

I tossed my head back, breaking our kiss, only when I felt like I would faint if I didn't breathe anytime soon, and Edward's mouth skimmed over my jaw before trailing down my neck. I could've fainted at the sensation of his cold lips planting open-mouthed kisses up my neck, but it still wasn't enough. The place where his lips met my skin burned me pleasantly, sparks shooting through my body at the contact and I scrabbled at his shoulders, wanting more...

Just wanting more.

My need for skin contact grew until I couldn't repress it any longer.

Before Edward realised what I was doing, I had already got the top three buttons of his shirt undone.

His mouth left my neck and I whimpered at the lack of contact as he encased my hands within his own, gently pushing them away from where I had been unsuccessfully trying to undo the next button.

"Bella..." His voice was half-amused and half-confused as I met his eyes. "...what are you doing?"

Heat spread across my cheeks as he continued to look at me. I had forgotten... Even back when we had been together properly, Edward was overly cautious about physical relationship. I could've screamed though at the thought that this was it – I had pushed him too far and now we had to stop.

"I... I just wanted... I just wanted to touch you," I stuttered over my words. "I needed... to feel you."

Unbidden, one of my hands freed itself from his and snuck under his half-unbuttoned shirt to rest against his heart.

He gasped at the contact. "So warm," he murmured.

His own hand mirrored mine, and I could have sworn that my heart began to beat more heavily against the skin that separated it from his palm. He stared at his hand for a moment and then met my eyes once more.

I could almost sense him caving into my demands. "Edward, I need to feel you."

He broke.

His mouth roughly caught mine again and I immediately took full advantage, my fingers immediately coming up to quickly undo the rest of his shirt, pushing it impatiently over his shoulders when I was done. Edward helped with my efforts, shrugging the garment off, and my hands hungrily ran over every inch of his chest and back that I could reach. Edward's own hands slipped under the hem of my shirt and I shuddered in pleasure as he traced up my spine.

Heat was beginning to pool low down in my belly and I began to squirm as an ache formed between my legs. I shifted from foot to foot, attempting to put more pressure on the areas that needed contact the most. As if he had heard my silent plea, Edward's hands slipped down to cup my ass, lifting me up to push my hips against his.

I stilled momentarily at the sensation of a bulge pressing against my stomach, but the realisation that this meant that Edward found me attractive, that he wanted me physically, made me return my attentions to him more voraciously than before.

My legs came up to wrap around his waist and I bucked my hips against his erection, gasping loudly as the pressure sent a jolt through my centre and racing up my spine. I bucked again.

"Bella," Edward mumbled into my mouth. "What...?"

"Shhh," I hushed him. "I just want to feel you."

Those seemed to be the magic words I needed to wrap Edward around my little finger, because he put up no protest as I began to struggle out of my own shirt, my hair falling out of its tie as I yanked it over my head. One of Edward's hands left my ass to help me and once I was free, I began to work on the clip to my bra.

...and then we were chest to chest.

It was the most naked we had ever been in each other's presence and I felt the tightness in my chest loosen. I clung to Edward as his fingers explored the skin of my back, his cool touch burning a fiery trail over me.

His mouth broke away from mine to allow me to breathe, only to follow its previous path down my neck. He didn't stop this time though. His mouth grazed over the top of my chest and then his lips closed over one of my nipples. I struggled to breathe as I tossed my head back, giving him better access to my breasts. I clutched his head to me, tugging on his hair, as sparks of arousal sent my body into a frenzy.

I had to have him.

All of the hurt, the fact that we still had to talk more, that I still didn't trust Edward when he said that he would stay, just melted away with my body's needs.

I wanted to feel close to him, to have our bodies connect in the most basic of ways. When he had been gone, I had shunned physical contact with other people, not wanting to let anyone too close to me, and now I felt starved of that contact. The only remedy was to get as close as humanly possible to Edward, to convince him to give me his body, even while I was so unsure about his heart.

I unwrapped my arms from their vice-like grip on his neck and if it wasn't for Edward catching me, I would have fallen backwards. A second later Edward spun us around, so that I was sandwiched between him and door and the next time I bucked against him, he returned the pressure, eliciting a small cry from my throat. He grunted in response and I smiled inwardly at his reaction.

Maybe he wouldn't put up so much of a fight against this as I had thought.

I ducked my head so that my mouth could reach his more easily, coaxing him up from my breasts as my fingers slipped down to the fly of his pants, attempting to undo them before he noticed. I could feel Edward stifle a laugh against my mouth, but instead of protesting as I'd expected, he helped me to unbutton him and shove his pants down over his hips. Only his boxers now remained between us, but my natural shyness stopped me from removing them or moving my hand that extra half inch that would lead me down to his erection.

The next thing I knew, Edward was undoing my own jeans, and I had a brief moment of self-consciousness before I gave into passion once more. My pants weren't as easy to remove as Edward's were, given that my legs were still hooked around his waist.

Edward glanced down in frustration, his brow creased, before he just decided to rip the jeans off my legs.

"Edward!" I looked down in horror. "I can't believe you did that! What am I going to wear now?"

He smirked up at me. "I'm sure we'll be able to find something."

And then his fingers were running over the fabric of my panties, pressing against my wet centre. My eyes fluttered shut at the warm feelings that he was inspiring in my body and I yearned for something more.

"Bella," his voice was strained, "is this ok?"

I rocked against his hand, too dumbstruck to reply, small moans and gasps leaving my mouth as he unerringly found my clit, rubbing over the sensitive nerves lightly.

It was all too much for me and small tears began to leak from the corners of my eyes. I felt Edward falter for a second before he resumed the movement of his fingers and I rewarded him by dotting kisses all over his face and neck, wherever I could reach. Encouraged, he slipped one finger beneath my underwear and inside me.

My breath hitched as it caught in my throat and I stopped moving against him. His finger felt cold and unfamiliar but not unpleasant, and as he began to slide it in and out and continued to manipulate my clit, the swirling sensation in the pit of my stomach began to grow tighter, until suddenly an explosion of feeling wracked through my body, arching my back and causing me to cry out.

It seemed to last forever, until suddenly it was like all the cords in my body had been cut and I slumped against Edward, panting as he held me, his hands running soothingly up and down my back. It felt like I was on sensory overload, and as the ringing in my ears began to slowly subside, I could make out the sound of Edward muttering.

"...so beautiful...Bella...so beautiful...love you so much...my Bella...thank you..."

I clung to him, stroking my fingers comfortingly over the hair at the nape of his neck. I felt completely sated and worn out, as though the sleepless nights of the last half year finally beginning to take their toll on my body now that I could relax, now that I had Edward back here with me.

I could still feel him hard against my stomach though, and the fluttering in my stomach grew stronger as my arousal began to rise once more.

Edward had taken care of me, just like he had always taken care of me before, and now here was a chance for me to take care of him.

My hips moved in small circles as he continued to run his fingers through my wetness, and I licked a trail along his jaw, enjoying his groan at my attentions, and bit the lobe of his ear.

"Edward," I whispered, "I want to feel you inside me."

He began to move his fingers once more, but I reached down to still his hand.

"No, you...inside me."

Edward stared at me and I returned his gaze with wide eyes. I had no idea how he'd take this new boldness, wherever it had come from.

He gave a short nod and leaned forward to give me a surprisingly tender kiss. I could feel him shifting about and seconds later felt him move my underwear to one side, out of the way.

Then his fingers were replaced by his cock and I hissed in discomfort as he began to slowly push his way inside me.

"Let me know if it gets too much, Bella. Just tell me to stop and I will." His jaw was clenched with the effort he was taking to be gentle with me and the care he was showing made me fall just a little bit more in love with him...if that was even possible.

He continued to inch inside my body until he was fully seated within me and then stilled, clearly waiting for my cue. After a minute the ache subsided and I blew out a long breath.

"Ok, now."

He withdrew from me just as slowly as he had entered me and I whined at the feel of him leaving my body. Thankfully, a second later, he thrust forward with a bit more force. He began to plunge in and out faster and faster until I was sure that the rattling of my body repeatedly hitting the door must have alerted everyone as to what we were doing.

Edward was grunting with every thrust and I began to unconsciously moan in return. The tight swirling feeling was beginning to coil inside the pit of my stomach again and as if he knew, Edward's fingers returned to my clit. My moans became more drawn out and just before my body exploded into that wonderful floating feeling again, Edward jerked twice and then thrust one last hard time inside me.

"Edward," I cried out his name, not caring if everyone on the plane could hear me.

When I finally came back to myself, Edward had redressed the both of us as best as he could. Both of our shirts were rumpled and unbuttoned and I was still missing my torn jeans which were in a heap on the floor of the tiny restroom.

"What happened?" I mumbled blearily.

"You passed out," Edward said, with a mixture of concern and amusement. "You must be tired. Promise me you'll try to get some sleep before we get back home."

"I don't have any pants," I complained. "I can't go out there."

As if on cue, there was a soft knock on the door I was still leaning against and I shot a worried look at Edward.

"Don't worry. It's only Alice," he reassured me.

He shifted me to one side as he opened the door fractionally and received a spare pair of pants that I had fortuitously packed into my rucksack. He finally let me down and I struggled to get my legs into the pants while he and Alice held a muttered conversation, too low for me to hear anything.

I was swept away to my seat the second I was fully clothed again and Edward quickly tossed a blanket over us as the stewardess finally returned from the far end of the plane.

"Everything ok up here?" She smiled sweetly at Edward and I resisted the urge to tear her hair out.

Edward laid a restraining hand on my arm. "We're fine, thank you," he replied politely.

Her smile turned slightly mocking. "I bet you are."

This comment was met by icy glares from both Edward and Alice that had her hastily backing away, nearly tripping over her heels as she went.

"Does she know what we did?" I whispered sleepily.

"I expect so. There's not really many other reasons for two people to disappear into an airplane restroom for half an hour."

"Oh." I waited for the blush to come at the reminder that not only had I lost my virginity tonight, and in a bathroom at that, but that other people – strangers – knew what I had done, but it didn't.

I didn't feel embarrassed or ashamed by what I had done or how I had begged Edward. I didn't feel weak for giving in and forgiving him so easily, so quickly, when he had hurt me so badly. Instead, I felt a sense of hope and empowerment grow within me.

My breakdown and the sex that had followed, had given me the confidence that Edward really would stay with me, more than just words ever would have done. I had managed to wear down his defences using just my body, and I wasn't above using that as coercion to get him to open up to me.

He had said he loved me though, he had pleaded for my forgiveness. Despite the smidgeon of fear I still felt and the knowledge that we still needed to talk properly, when he was feeling less guilty and I was feeling less emotionally fragile, certainty that everything would be ok in the end settled within me.

"I think I might try to get some sleep," I announced, tugging the blanket up more securely over my body and lifting the armrest between us so that I could half-lay on top of Edward.

His relief at that was almost palpable as he realised that this was my way of saying that I trusted him to stay with me and that I believed him when he said that he still loved me. "I'll watch over you," he vowed.

As I drifted off to sleep, secure and safe in Edward's arms, I heard him whisper quietly, "I'll never leave you again."

I managed to answer him before sleep fully claimed me, my words a garbled mess as I grappled to stay awake for just a few seconds longer.

"I'll hold you to that, Edward Cullen."


End file.
